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4.29.2006
haaay...
At times I feel like I cant release all of me onto the world. Not that I want to change the world in any way but I feel like I want to show the true me. Im so mad at posers but in truth im one myself. I dont say what I really want to say and I dont act the way I want to act. I keep on thinking "what's going to happen if i do this?" or "what will they think?". I think its pretty shallow of people doing stuff that show themselves as higher beiongs in the world. The way they think, speak and act shows how they present themselves. I always observe people around me and I know the truth. I want to tell someone who can finally understand but I know that if I tell, they might think about it as the "views of another angsty teenage girl who hates everyone" thing. So here I go again thinking of what people might think about me. Its pretty sick how the world turns out to be.I guess I sound angry but im just sad.

Im sad because i havent turned out as I want to be. If i count all the "I"'s in this entry it would be a lot. Im sad because I keep on thinking about myself. I want to think about others, how i can help, how i can be a blessing in a way. I just dont want to feel this sad about the world or myself. At times i dont even know what my "true" self really means anymore because its just so twisted i cant keep my facts straight. Well, teenage angst...haha

~ { 4/29/2006 07:02:00 PM }
aiming for the sky above;